For tash

Its been a little while since I've been on here. I'm sure all five or six of you who read this have missed my attempts at being clever and witty. I wish I could update you all with interesting tidbits about love and life but I've pretty much been studying, working and sleeping. Oh, I must mention I got to go to Dallas two weeks ago with Kimball to see President Uctdorff. He is surprisingly tall and surprisingly a fan of Harry Potter as he quoted Dumbledore in his talk. Joe and Katy were excellent hosts and have the very cutest kids. Lately I've been a bit busy trying to nurse my immune system back to health. I went to the doctor about a month ago after feeling like crap for a week (high fever, throat pain, exhaustion). As it turns out I didn't have mono, but a mono-like illness. What is that? I have no idea. I wonder if the doctor made up the term on the spot to make me feel better. But I haven't been feeling better; at that time or for almost a month since. I'm tired all the time (and I'm usually an energetic person), fever on and off, and throat pain. Cami, my big sister had mono in highschool. I remember her sleeping a lot. When I found out what I had I texted her to ask what she felt like. She said: "I felt like crap all the time!" This is what your tonsils look like with mono:

The good news is I'm feeling better.

Clever wedding processions?!

Talk about making an entrance: Why do wedding things always make me emotional?

Where the Wild Things Are

I went to see Harry Potter twice this week. As fun as that was, one of the best parts was getting to see this trailer both times on the big screen:

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Got a chuckle out of these t-shirts. (they relate to mormon culture if you are unfamiliar with it)

There are a couple more at www.primarytees.com

New Favorite Band

Thanks to Hayley, I am really in love with Grizzly Bear. Particularly this song:

We also just found out that they were in Hollywood saturday night while Hayley and I were visiting Tash in Thousand Oaks. I tried to remember what we did that night and I recalled we watched "Twilight" with our old film friends from BYU. Pretty good trade if you ask me.

 

T2

A couple of nights ago I went to see a showing of the new Terminator. I'm not anti-action movies-with-endless-sequels, but they typically aren't my favorite thing either. 

However, when it comes to Terminator II, well that is just a different story. Seriously, how much more awesome can you get than a movie written/directed by James Cameron:

Starring Linda Hamilton's Biceps:

 And the hot police officer (who's actually just a freaky robot):

Not to mention (and just as cool), Arnold S. "Hasta la vista", a ridiculously long motorcycle chase scene, and totally ahead of its time special effects.  

The new Terminator Salvation also had many a neat effect (including a sweet cgi replica of the Arnold Terminator). Still I couldn't help but notice the difference between the two movies:

a. New Terminator submerged itself in the effects, relying on them as a sort of visual showcase to create fear, awe, excitement, humor etc. to inform, drive and create the story.

b. the original T2 used a well-developed story driven by well-rounded characters -  filled in by some freaking cool effects that contributed to (note: not created) the story. 

And therein lies my beef with the action genre. Sometimes I just want the writer/director/producer to get away from the computer and start investigating human interaction again. Look at J.J. Abrams (Star Trek, Lost, Fringe).

Ok so even though I put T4 down, I still would recommend seeing it. If only for the fact that the effects are sweet and Christian Bale has a voice like a rock-crusher.

Books, Books, Books

Does anybody have any recommendations for reading material? I tend to like stuff that: -has a historical back-drop (not picky about where/when) -won't put you to sleep reading because it uses obscure words and difficult language (this is mostly older stuff which I try to be tolerant of, but you know). But I am open to pretty much anything. I'm going to have a lot of free time this summer at my job. I really don't want to end up watching youtube and gchatting the whole time (as fun as this is after about 2 hours, your head feels like the flux capacitor).

Any ideas about what to do to pass the time?

Allergies

So I don't get how you can go your whole 24 years of life without allergies and then BAM! one day you wake up with itchy eyes and after a week of burning, congestion and fatigue your eye looks like this:

(This is not my eye, but my swelling was similar)

The doctor gave me some flonase, eyedrops and pills. I'm feeling much better except for the itching. Seriously kudos to all of you who've had to put up with allergies your whole life.

P.S. School's out for the SUMMER!!!!!!

Defense mechanisms

Do you ever feel like you always mess up things you really want? I swear I am a master at self-sabotage. For instance, in junior high and high school every acting or singing part that I really wanted and tried for, I didn't get. Instead, I always was given the parts that I tried out for as a back-up, but didn't really want. Recently I found out I didn't get the internship that I wanted for next year. I would have been working with a private therapy practice, which is ultimately what I want to do with this costly advanced degree. Now I'm half-panicked/half-indifferently looking for other positions. The truth is with these second-choice jobs, the interviews are going GREAT because I'm not nervous and I ask questions. With the first internship I was seriously scared of asking anything in case I said the wrong thing. Holy defense mechanism! Defense mechanisms were a concept introduced by Freud. Basically, when you feel threatened, you will subcounsciously protect yourself using defense mechanisms. Some you may have heard of like denial, displacement, idealization and so on. I'm excellent at repression. For instance, I often numb my responses to things because I think that would be easier than having them actualized. The truth is, defense mechanisms are only helpful for a little while, eventually you have to learn healthier ways to cope with the crap in your life. Psychology says that we are all messed up in our minds. WE are the problem.

Social work says everything in our little eco system contributes to our problems:

(microsystem = YOU)

One downside to studying this stuff is you begin to think that you have every disorder you read about. For instance, I was pretty convinced I was suffering from PTSD (post traumatic stress disorder) after a lengthy class on this topic (hey you try being in a horrible car accident!). I had a friend say the other day that she thinks she has borderline personality disorder. I had to assure her that she does not because she is a functioning individual. The difference between the mentally ill and the not ? Functionalibility. You may have some crazy crap going on inside you, but if you are able to function in your daily life/relationships/profession you are probably ok (note, i said probably).

As one of my teachers would say, the key to mental health = Flexibility. I practice my splits everyday.

Happy Birthday Pookie!

This post is dedicated to one of the best sisters in the whole wide world: Camille Marie Bluth. Cami is my big sis. She taught me how to tie my shoes, do backflips, listen to country music, pretty much you name it, I learned it from her. 

I have many good memories of our childhood/teenagehood, including things like making a weekly workout plan (Monday-jog Tuesday-Bike ride Wed.-roller blade) and digging nickels and dimes out of the change jar for our almost-nightly May Fro Yo run (Mesa Frozen yogurt). 

She's a pretty special person, so I thought I would share a few things that you might not know about her (20 to be exact):

1. In high school she did color guard, pole vaulting, diving, orchestra, got straight A's, and shared a wardrobe with me, and let me follow her around.

2. She has an AMAZING singing voice. Her specialties being Les Mis and Charlotte Church.

3. She is an even more amazing mom. 

4. She is bar none the best person to have with you on a road trip. Specifically if that road trip is to Lake Powell and your car goes dead at the Pizza Hut in Page. Or, if you make the wrong turn in Flagstaff and see signs that say "Los Angeles 200 miles". Or, if you are driving through miles and miles of New Mexican wilderness and have only a two sided tape of Journey's Greatest Hits to keep you company.

5. She is hilarious. Carefree. Easy going. I think I saw her get mad only once in our teenage years. Pretty amazing if you ask me.

6. She used to write me letters written in the "creepy" font and sign it "the pookie". 

7. She built the house she lives in now.

8. She and her family make Carlsbad a happening place.

9. She has rheumatoid arthritis but never complains.

10. She had mono her senior year of high school.

11. She went to 3 universities before marrying her cute hubby Marcus: ASU, NMSU, and BYU

12. She likes to be the first to the top of a mountain.

13. When she was younger, it was impossible to have a conversation with her that didn't include her plieing, tour jeteing etc while you were talking to her.

14. I felt like a big girl when she let me share a room with her. I think I was nine or ten.

15. We used to stay up late talking about anything and everything

16. She memorized the Newsies soundtrack. And the titanic song- You know the one they played on the radio with excerpts from the movie?

17. When I was at BYU she once sent me a pear for my birthday (a "Little Women" reference).

18. She spent the first few months of her marriage roughing it (and loving it) on a cattle ranch in NM.

19. She speaks French. Oui.

20. She is really adorable pregnant, and is currently expecting baby # 4.

Il y a longtemps que je t'aime

Saw this last week with a few friends. I was worried it wouldn't go over well because I wasn't sure if they liked foreign film but the LOVED it. and so did I. Candice said, "I had to go to the bathroom the whole time but couldn't leave or I'd miss something."

It stars Kristin Scott Thomas (you know from the Horse Whisperer and Mission Impossible (she dies in the Prague alleyway at the beginning)).

Satire?

I have fun working out to this song. But now that i've seen the video I feel simultaneously offended and...amused.

I run

Its late and I'm about all ready for a long summer's sleep. Not to be confused with 'long winter's nap'. It's summer already here, or so it has felt like it the past few days. 

I like rap. Well, there are only certain times that I listen to it. Like for instance today when I was reminded what it feels like to be the object of girlish gossip- and that is crappy. Which surprised me-haven't I grown out of caring what people think about me? I decided that I had not as I found myself rolling down University with a hot fudge sundae in hand, windows open, blasting this song and feeling vindicated:

hard times got the whole united states stressin  im writin a book, how to survive n a recession  mr oboma, we so tired of sellin crack  if u lookin for me ask the streets where im at 

I run the streets all nite n day (the hood love thug)  cuz i still run the streets all nite n day  yuhh i rep for my city, go hard for the hood still posted on the block, wats good?  cuz i still run, the streets all nite n day,  i cant stay away. 

Lesson learned: life isn't that bad. At least I'm not running crack.

Cleaning up

*warning, this post is not meant to be read while eating, in fact its not meant for the faint of stomach at all* Because I am an unemployed grad student and living with my parents and having recently coughed up dough for a labtop, ridiculously priced school books (seriously, how do they sleep at night?), and tuition, I've depleted my much needed cash flow. So I asked my lovely mom if there were any chores around the house I could do to earn some money. I know. Its like I'm twelve again and trying to earn money for the oceanography trip to San Diego. When you go to my mom with offers of help, you best be ready because she will hand you more than you ever wanted (she does pay well). I spent a whole summer of my youth painting baseboards. I've seen my brothers climb down into the basement window well dressed in snowbibs, gloves and hats to 'de-spider'. So I had to hold my breath. She gave me two words; "fridge" and "pantry". Now, that probably doesn't sound that bad, but it might as well have been the opening chords for a bad American idol audition. I cringed visibly. And I'm pretty sure the words, "anything but that" came out, or atlease I was thinking them. Seriously, you haven't seen our fridge. We could donate some things in there to science. And as I spent a couple of hours on all fours scrubbing, here is what I found: A can of peas, conglomerated into what looked like a honeycomb A jar of pepporoni's that had turned brown A wedge of fuzzy blue cheese Salsa with exp. date 2005 (remember when we cleaned out gramma's pantry and found that syrup from 1999?!) And to my torment: some red 'mystery' sauce dripped all over back wall The pantry wasn't as bad. The only find being a bag of old potatoes that looked like they had sprouts growing out of them. Usually my dad cleans out the fridge. I dunno why but he likes it. He'll find all sorts of crazy stuff and come show us when he finds it. This always grossed me out. But I found myself doing the same thing, even running down the hallway to show meesa the peas.

Old teenage hopes

These never get old:

ps. did you know feist performed in the calgary olympics opening ceremonies?

Firsts

I had a couple of firsts last week. 

Number one- I saw my first patient. For those of you who are unaware I've been an intern for student counseling at NMSU since august, which meant for the first semester I manned phones at the crisis hotline and bothered local agencies by sending them information about our services. But now that I am bona-fide second semester student, I get to see clients! Friday was my first get go, just a student looking for healthcare options, and yes my supervisor was there with me which was a big help because I kept getting nervous and shooting her looks that said "HELP!" and "Whatwasthathealthcareprogramyoutoldmeabout?" Well, we got through it in one piece, and I have a follow up appointment and I've filled out all the paperwork.

The second first was that we had the first speed-dating activity for our ward ever. Mark and I are activities chairs and so we got every one there under the pretense that it was a 'Get-to-Know-you' night. I know...mean right? Well, the thing is a lot of people in our ward are spread out and when they move in they don't get to know each other. So at least people will know each other better now. And total surprise, the ratio was almost perfect the whole night. We had a few too many boys at the beginning but some girls showed up.

My final first was seeing four movies in the theater in one weekend. I saw: Last Chance Harvey, Taken, Revolutionary Road, and New in Town. I only paid for two, and definitely would recommend them all except Revolutionary Road because of content (but come on its Kate and LEO!).

Across the Universe

I listened to this again today and now these lovely verses are stuck in my head:

Thoughts meander like 

a restless wind inside a letter box

they tumble blindly as they 

make their way across the universe

Limitless Undying love which

shines around me like a million suns

it calls me on and on across the universe

Resolutions

Its been a little while since I've written. I can blame that mostly on christmas, family, friends, the second season of 30 Rock, and this new addition to my school supplies:

Granted, you might say that this would give me more opportunities for blogging, but in reality it hasn't. Instead I've had my fill of old gymnastics meets on youtube, updates from this year's Sundance, facebook and gmail chatting, and frequent visits to imdb, wikipedia and hulu. 

What have I learned? Technology isn't bad, but it definitely allows one to vegetate for several hours at a time. Also (gathered from frequent visits to these sites), I've realized that most people have accomplishments. And I started to worry a little bit whether or not I have many, or whether I've nurtured the ones that I do have enough. So, inevitably I started thinking and this thinking led to thoughts like "be a doer, not a watcher, Carrie." So consequently I started making a list in my head of all the things I would like to try doing with my spare time from now on. I guess we could call these things 'resolutions' although I think new years resolutions are finicky (I have about six journals with previous lists that were never got to or were never again thought of). But this time I'm trying to make realistic goals for myself that I really want to try. So here is what i came up with:

1. Start playing the piano and singing again

2. Make an effort to have more quality time with friends/family members

3. Write more. Ideas and thoughts for characters and stories go through my head a lot, but getting them down has been a challenge. Ironically I write best during class when I get tired of listening to lectures. 

4. Watch more quality TV and films (not just re-renting Hairspray, Curly Sue, etc.)

5. Read more frequently. I just finished "A Tree Grows in Brooklyn" and I highly recommend it!

6. Make a movie for our film festival coming up.

7. Start taking pictures again.

What are your New Years resolutions?