Do you ever feel like you always mess up things you really want? I swear I am a master at self-sabotage. For instance, in junior high and high school every acting or singing part that I really wanted and tried for, I didn't get. Instead, I always was given the parts that I tried out for as a back-up, but didn't really want.
Recently I found out I didn't get the internship that I wanted for next year. I would have been working with a private therapy practice, which is ultimately what I want to do with this costly advanced degree. Now I'm half-panicked/half-indifferently looking for other positions. The truth is with these second-choice jobs, the interviews are going GREAT because I'm not nervous and I ask questions. With the first internship I was seriously scared of asking anything in case I said the wrong thing. Holy defense mechanism!
Defense mechanisms were a concept introduced by Freud. Basically, when you feel threatened, you will subcounsciously protect yourself using defense mechanisms. Some you may have heard of like denial, displacement, idealization and so on. I'm excellent at repression. For instance, I often numb my responses to things because I think that would be easier than having them actualized. The truth is, defense mechanisms are only helpful for a little while, eventually you have to learn healthier ways to cope with the crap in your life.
Psychology says that we are all messed up in our minds. WE are the problem.
Social work says everything in our little eco system contributes to our problems:
(microsystem = YOU)
One downside to studying this stuff is you begin to think that you have every disorder you read about. For instance, I was pretty convinced I was suffering from PTSD (post traumatic stress disorder) after a lengthy class on this topic (hey you try being in a horrible car accident!). I had a friend say the other day that she thinks she has borderline personality disorder. I had to assure her that she does not because she is a functioning individual. The difference between the mentally ill and the not ? Functionalibility. You may have some crazy crap going on inside you, but if you are able to function in your daily life/relationships/profession you are probably ok (note, i said probably).
As one of my teachers would say, the key to mental health = Flexibility.
I practice my splits everyday.
13 comments:
I like the breakdown (no pun intended?) of mental illness along the lines of being a functioning individual. Certainly every person has individual circumstances and experiences, but as a general rule, it's a good one.
It doesn't seem right to me sometimes when people self-diagnose certain mental conditions—if not just because they do it to try and justify certain behaviors or feelings, but also—because it seems to diminish the suffering I see from those I know who actually do struggle with mental illness.
The eco system way of looking at things is cool.
You make a good point. Having more sensitivity would be good for all of us.
I am sorry about the internship, Carrie. Sometimes, however, the second option becomes a really great experience. I think that although we are affected by the eco system, our attitude or way of looking at the situation can really effect us as well. I think that part takes time and practice.
There are no RD jobs right now, but I see lots of Social Worker jobs available, especially in the hospitals. Maybe the economy will be better when you get out of school so you can work where you want. I think you will be a great social worker because you are smart, good, know who you are, and very compassionate. loves
After the time and practice part, I also want to add that it can be so difficult that we need others or professional help. Like when Kelly was gone, i needed you guys. :)
I just wanted to say that I really liked the way you wrote this post. You're a very smart and talented person.
Also, I'm sorry about the internship too. But you'll be able to get to where you want to in your career even if you don't get the internships you want the most/all the jobs you want the most even. Never you fear. You'll get there because you'll do well at whatever internships/jobs you do get.
What is it called when you see dead people?
That is sad about your first choice, Carrie, but when one door is closed, the Lord opens another. If I was hiring, I would choose you for your genuineness (sp?), personality, and togetherness. Good luck!
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