A story

The scene of a few nights ago: INT EVENING I walk into the kitchen for assistance in putting on a necklace, the assister, no doubt surprised by my use of jewelry, comments suspiciously: Assister: Where are you going? Me: Out. Assister: With who? Darnit, I think, she's going to make me say it. Me: With such and such person to such and such place The Assister beams. Assister: really? Me: yes. Said assiter is staring at me. No, not at me anymore, now she is staring at my attire. I tense, ready to spring. Me: What? Assister: Well, you aren't going to wear that? Me: Why not? I begin to hedge away slowly. Assister: Atleast, not that shirt. Do you have something less wrinkled? Me: I like this shirt With a start, I turn and sprint down the hallway, towards my bedroom. but she is quick. Her yelling comes from just behind me in the hall. Assister: It doesn't do anything for you! I silence her with a glance. Assister: Well atleast take your hair down. Assister is now sweeping through my closest, muttering "no" "maybe" "too old" as I grab my coat to go. Her voice carries after me as I leave the room. Assister: You'll need perfume! I pause in the kitchen to arrange my purse. I am already pulling my lip gloss out of my purse when she says, Assister: Do you have lipstick? I hold up the gloss to show her. Assister: I have lipstick with color in it... She trails off at my glare. I pause to apply the fruity concotion. When I look up I notice the Assiter is now observing my collar bones. I beeline it for the door. Assister: Honey I think we need to take you in...get those moles removed. Me: Bye Mom! I shut the door. Seconds later, the door opens after me. Mom: Bye honey, remember you have everything he wants!