The Lion's Mane

Boston Adventures part 2

2011-11-29T18:53:00.002-07:00

More family visits, holidays, and gorgeous fall weather. Seriously, consider living in New England in the fall just for the beauty of it.

Cute Mees!

LDS singles party boat tour of the boston harbor w/ Kimball and
Mees. Sad I didn't get a picture of the three of us.

Finally got my chinese lanterns painted and hung

The Charles. I walk over this bridge to get to church
and Harvard square.

Elder Koerper from Las Cruces

no surprise that green chile is expensive here-but at
least they have it!

A baptism held at Walden Pond

Halloween fun: Rachel the Hamburglar and
me as a mime

Beyonce and Jay Z

Frida Kahlo

Old bearded guy

Torture victim

Close-up

Extreme Close-up

Pride and Prejudice Zombie

roomates!

The Hakes' extended family in Mesa, Az for Thanksgiving

"vogue mommy" pose

The McCuistions set up a killer game of "minute to win it"

Adventures, Boston Part 1

2011-10-23T20:50:00.001-06:00

Its been a busy first month, family visits, friends, birthdays, new job, new apartment, new friends. What can I say, it is exciting and overwhelming all at once. I know for sure that I am in the right place, even if all of the questions aren't answered right now.

Dinner with friends to celebrate my 27th birthday.

Cassi and Daphne came out for the weekend!

"One if by land, two if by sea"

Kelly.

Cassi loved the fresh fruits and veggies at the farmer's market

Rachel and I at the Diamond Rings/Twin Shadow show

Adorable

"Please leave us alone, when we're dancing"

Fenway park tour with mom and dad

Mom takes dad's picture on the Green monster

Mozart concert

Occupy Boston

Driving from New Mexico to Boston

2011-09-26T15:22:00.002-06:00

Carlsbad kitties

not sure what happened here, frame-wise!

New Orleans chapel

Shenandoah Valley

SVU

My dorm room at SVU, now a maintenance office

Travel Bunny.

The Home of Anderson Cooper

Why Boston? Well I think this man explained it pretty well. He was talking about the savior, but it's also a metaphor for life.

"although it most often comes in the form of a puzzle—one piece at a time.

Each individual piece may not be easily recognizable by itself;

it may not be clear how it relates to the whole.

Each piece helps us to see the big picture a little more clearly.

Eventually, after enough pieces have been put together,

we recognize the grand beauty of it all."

Pictures from Summer 2011 (and a few before that too)

2011-09-18T22:18:00.001-06:00

It was a good one.

Happy Mother's day everyone!

2011-05-08T12:25:00.000-06:00

Some things my mom taught me:

1. Belief in God
2. Compassion
3. Hard work
4. How to do the "swim"

Love you MOM!

Excerpts from London...

2011-04-24T23:28:00.002-06:00

I was going through my journal from our London study abroad in 2005 recently and was reminded of so many fun experiences that I had forgotten about. There were also several pages of sloppy drawings with thought bubbles and a letter to the Parisian transport system, but I'll just keep it to quotes. Here are some of the excerpts:

May 2, 2005: En route to the airport

"This is going to be a fun little book for me to give details on our first adventure abroad. There'll be a lot of silliness and maybe a few serious moments. Plenty of giggles, beatles-jokes, and beautiful cinema galore. Most important, I have happy problems!"

May 4, 2005:

"I slept funny last night. Tash said I talked in my sleep and slept-walked. I hope Rochelle doesn't think I'm a wacko...

May 9, 2005:

"The 'Big Red One' was fabulous...I cried slightly at the end-it was moving. As we came out underneath the Thames bridge a man was playing Borodin's 'Polovtsian Dances' on his saxophone. The sun was setting. It was a beautiful memory."

...

"Our church is AWESOME...I will play the piano in the primary ("That's the best calling in the church" said Dean D.) and teach the 4-7 year olds. I can't wait to learn and grow and be humbled by these people. I initially thought, 'well I'll have to help them with their testimonies as mine is sound and I'm not a convert'...TOTALLY WRONG! These saints run circles around me. They are on fire and I need to learn from their example. I'm so excited for the documentary- Dean's already planning for it."

May 14, 2005:

"..we enjoyed 'punting' today. A Cambridge activity in which one sits in a boat and is gondoliered through the Cambridge river by a young scruffy Briton. Ours was rather scruffy and delicious. Tasha found herself wandering after him, but alas, he was not to be found."

May 18, 2005: Tash and I are on the train to the Lake District. We take turns writing in my journal.

Tash: "He's a self-absorbed joke hog."

Me: "What do you think your family is doing right now? I think, Dad- Morning snack of chocolate milk and graham crackers. Mom- Third time at Hobby Lobby this morning, talking on her phone to 2 different people and swigging fuzzy water. Kalli- Composing songs in her head and dreaming of her violin-touring with Josh Groban during French class. Mees- Daydreaming about her and Glen's betrothal at age 18 and giggling at some website with weird humor."

Tash: "Dad- driving in his truck, happy about his new job, worried about my mom and trying to sell a new deal with some hospital. Mom- sitting in her chair getting her make-up on getting ready to sub and yelling at Jen to get off the internet and get ready. Jen- On the internet talking to Sammy and running to her room to add more make up or change her shirt. Don't you love and miss it?!"

...

Seen on the way to to the Lake District:
Baby sheep
Weird looking mini horses
Orange hatted workmen
A rail worker picking something out of his sandwich
Green and yellow fields
Too many tractors and cranes
A Pemberly or two
Interesting grass patterns
Funky river boats
Suburbanization, suburbanization (sigh).

May 20, 2005:

"Rowing on Friday was probably the most hilarious experience ever- horizontal rain, almost beaching ourselves, Hayley's cursing and Mimi's pirate impression."

...

Lake District Highlights:
The hike and discussion in the rain
The lake tour
Nighttime strolls and ducks
"Elleray Pub- Good company and fun- Cheers!"
Finding out we're related to Caitlin and Drew Duncan-cool! (Juarez, Turley)

May 22, 2005:

"We went to a pub to watch the FA final Arsenal vs. Manchester. The quality of the pub was 'Good drinks, good food and wicked atmosphere.'"

May 23, 2005:

"Feeling a wee bit overwhelmed. Funny because after our lunch we all resigned to naps in our flats."

June 1, 2005:

"Here we are at breakfast in Paris. Yesterday was a blurry baguette-full whirlwind of: Champs-Elysees, The Arc D'Triumph, The Eiffel Tower, a boat tour, Notre Dame, Dinner and bed!

June 3, 2005:

"Well my second day in Paris was great for different reasons than the first. Mainly: we weren't as rushed. There was a bit of moseying at breakfast. We consumed our 12 pieces of bread at the speed of sloths...

Scene: E'tape Parisian Hostel Breakfast room. The girls sit around a table eating various french breads and hot chocolate.

Me: (casually buttering my fourth piece of sweet bread) "So guys, what are we going to do today?"

Tasha: "Hayley, could you pass me the orange juice?"

Hayley: (passing the orange juice) "Mais oui."

Mimi: "Mais oui."

Tasha: "Mais oui!"

Me: "Mais...oui"

Rochelle: "I think I pooped a baguette last night."

End Scene

"Finally we found the hospital museum. Three words describe it: Stifling, desterted, underwhelming. It had great potential for 'leper shrouds' as Hayley said."

...

"Today was Versailles. The best thing was getting lost in the gardens by myself and enjoying the nature purely and soley by myself."

...

Me: "Paris: Morning or Sunset?"

Tash: "Sunset. It's so beautiful the way the sun reflects on the Seine and the air gets calm by the banks, by all around it there is excitement and a fever of color and lights.

June 15, 2005:

"I basically spent the whole day roaming around the flat trying to finish 'Kim.'"

"Sara came up and we all bonded on Hayley's bed with jokes and Percy Pigs."

"Sunday school was a wreck. I chased Earle around the whole building and was surprised at his speed...I took a knee to talk to him about reverence...then there was a closing song and goodbyes...we walked out...it was a whirlwind of faces, flowers, roses, red brick, green, breezes, pink cars and a train whistle. And that was the end of church in London."

"Despite the threat of finals which we all pretended to be conscious of, we strolled to class. It's just not the situation to take it seriously in."

"Me, Rochelle, Mimi and Tash spent a lot of time in the flats together those last days. Just sitting and talking quietly or thinking. After Bresson's 'Pickpocket' was Indian food at Gideon's flat. Me and Rochelle were greeted by an Indian-attired Gideon at the door...We left to take flat photos and turned in. Got up the next day and made our journey ready. Mimi got pastries and we all sat in our room quietly. The goodbyes didn't really need to be said because we all felt it."

Boston and Maine

2011-03-25T01:58:00.001-06:00

Last October I went to a work training in Lewiston, Maine. I wish I had had more time to take pictures, as the leaves were just beginning to change. Imagine street after street of cute new England houses with pumpkins on the porches and gold leaves on the trees! It was gorgeous, in other words. Here's the only picture I was able to take. It was outside where we had our training.

After we had finished up on friday, I was able to go visit my darling Hayley in Boston. Hayley is probably one of the funniest, most gorgeous, free spirited girls you'll ever meet. I didn't get a picture of the two of us unfortunately, but here is quick snap of her cute house in Boston:

On saturday, we took a drive out to Newport, Rhode Island. Newport is/was quite the wealthy town. In one area we found a long avenue that was lined with mansion after mansion house.

After getting our fill of mansions, we took the coast highway for a bit and stopped to play on the beach and skip rocks.

Hayley taking a picture of me taking a picture of her.

The last thing I got to see in Boston was by far my favorite and that was Walden Pond. The place is very peaceful and doesn't have that "touristy" feel at all. Hayley was brave enough to take a swim. I enjoyed walking the paths and checking out the site where Thoreau lived.

"I went to the woods because I wished to live deliberately,
to front only the essential facts of life, and see if I could not
learn what it had to teach, and not, when I came to die,
discovered that I had not lived"-Henry David Thoreau

Mesa

2011-03-01T22:28:00.002-07:00

Recently I was in Arizona to attend the wedding nuptials for my adorable cousin Jenn. Jenn wore the prettiest princess dress and seemed soo happy to be married to her love Jp. It may have rained at the temple but it was absolutely gorgeous outside (Az usually gets like .5 days of rain per year, so we'll take it!). I ate a ton of fro yo (frozen yogurt) and had a blast catching up with family.

Melissa and I in the temple waiting room

Trying to take family pictures in the rain

The girls take shelter under the roof

I love this. My grandma, mom, and aunt pam

Jenn reaching out to us girls huddled
under the temple roof

So cute

Since when did May fro get yellow cake batter? Mamma like!

cousin chronicles; kristin, me, katelyn and tash.

Cupid, pull back your bow

2011-02-14T14:56:00.002-07:00

I love Valentine's day! Even if you don't feel romantic love for someone, it's still a really good day to do something nice for those you feel friendship love for.

I found these bad boys at Wal Mart:

Recipients so far have been co-workers, friends, and the homeless man who sits at my freeway offramp.

I've also been jamming out to the station pandora made with "Cupid" by Sam Cooke. Love!

Poor Sister Hakes!

2011-02-13T18:30:00.000-07:00

I hope you stay by the fire and eat lots of warm soup!

Amis

2011-02-07T15:03:00.001-07:00

About a month ago I traveled to Thousand Oaks, California to reunite with some friends from the BYU days. Leland and Tash were gracious enough to host all of us at Leland's parents house. We watched movies, ate delicious food and burned christmas trees on the cold and beautiful LA beach.

Rochelle and I on the ride to the beach,
it was bit bumpy hence the blurrieness

Tash, Mimi, Gabe, Jacob and Leland
in the driver's seat

The beach provided plentiful ponder
moments

I call this the "Dawson's Creek" picture

Mimi skips rocks in front of the

sunset

Reunited: Four members of the orginial Flat 21 from
my 2005 study abroad. I love these girls!

Mimi being a pirate. Some things never change.

Snow Day!

2011-02-02T10:03:00.000-07:00

Winter weather brought us 4 inches of snow last night. My boss just called to say don't come in because our office has no power. Only in NM could a little bit of snow do so much damage. So I'm blogging in bed and thinking about how I want to spend this precious free day! It doesn't hurt that I get to look at this out the windows:

My car

I think I'm going to bake some bread and work on a little filmy project. There's also a possibility of snowball fight later on. What joy!

Things that make me laugh

2011-02-01T13:07:00.000-07:00

My sister Melissa doing her impression of Corduroy:

If you've never read this book you probably won't get the reference:

Thank you work out bag

2011-01-24T15:17:00.002-07:00

Before you came into my life, socks were strewn haphazardly all over my car floor, hair ties were lost in the pockets of my purse, and sports bras were on constant display.

Because I Bloody Well Stammer!

2011-01-12T15:47:00.000-07:00

Sometimes when I walk into a session I really wish that I had a tshirt or a billboard with these statements written on them in big letters, just because I feel like I repeat myself all the time:

1. Being a parent has to be one of the most difficult and underappreciated jobs.
2. You need to take care of yourself too.
3. When kids say things like "I hate you" they usually don't mean it.
4. YOU ARE THE ADULT, NOT YOUR CHILD
5. If you don't talk openly about sex with your kids, they WILL go to other sources (ie the internet or their friends) for an education.

Confrontation

2010-12-01T09:41:00.001-07:00

In the past few weeks its become apparent to me that:

a. To be a good therapist, you have to confront your clients

b. I tend to avoid confrontation

c. The Judge in court doesn't want to hear nice things I have to say about my clients. He wants to hear about improvement.

So, in the last two days I had three very confrontational sessions. And aside from a bit of door slamming from the kids and awkwardness between me and parents, it didn't go that bad.

Papa Americano

2010-11-18T00:07:00.000-07:00

As of today, my favorite song to zumba to:

To Russia, With Love

2010-11-16T12:27:00.000-07:00

It's that time of year again.

2010-11-16T12:16:00.000-07:00

Atlanta!

2010-09-07T22:25:00.002-06:00

A few weeks ago, I had to do a work training in South Carolina
for a week. Since Cassi and Kelly only live a few hours away,
they came up to Charleston on Thursday and stayed for the
night. On friday we drove back to their house so I could stay
with them for the weekend. Daphne was a bit sleepy after the
trip, but she managed to coo at me and Cassi for a second on the
camera.

Friday we ate lunch together in Charleston and then drove

back to Georgia, with Daphne setting the style standard.

Saturday we hit the Peach packing plant where you get

to see how they package the delicious peaches that Georgia

is famous for. I had some yummy peach soft serve and peach

cobbler.

Cassi had some butter pecan soft serve that was to die for.

At the peach packing plant cafe

Later Saturday we went to the "Fish n' Pig" restaurant to try

some authentic southern cuisine, including grilled alligator.

it tastes like chicken!

I noticed when I was carrying Daphne around that people

give you ALOT of attention. As in..."Oh look at the baby!"

"How old is she?" I bet that makes parents feel a little boost,

especially after all the sleepless nights.

Sunday I went to a YSA ward in Atlanta. Atlanta is HUGE!

It competes with Phoenix in size. Except, everything is

green and lush. After church Kelly made German food he used

to eat on his mission. Then Cassi and I went for a walk around

her neighborhood. It was a super relaxing weekend, and I had

a great time with the Woods!

Suggestions Needed

2010-06-22T00:46:00.005-06:00

Can I just say I am so excited to do this in Hawaii next week:

All I'm missing is a fun beach book. To any and all readers, what are the books you've been reading and loving this summer?

"Job" your memory

2010-05-21T20:58:00.003-06:00

This past week I was hired for my first "real" job. I've been thinking
a lot about the random jobs I have had, thanks to being a college student
for so long. For instance, I bet you didn't know that I helped launch this baby
on its first test flight.

Some of the other random ones:

book binder
gymnastics coach
dorm mom and campus tour guide to future American Indian scholars
Substitute teacher
Compassionate listener for a crisis hotline

Some of the ones I've liked:

Production Assistant at the Missionary Training Center
Therapist Intern
Housesitter

Some of the one's I didn't:

Receptionist
Location Manager for a feature film

Summer Project

2010-05-10T16:45:00.005-06:00

If you are a fan of food, check out my new blog, lcgorditas.blogspot.com,
for a summer food tour of Las Cruces restaurants. Featuring mi amiga
Esmeralda as co-writer and co-gordita in crime.

matters of the heart

2010-05-05T11:23:00.009-06:00

Some quotes I used for a paper on eating disorders:

"According to a recent study, over 1/2 the females between the ages of

18-25 would prefer to be run over by a truck then be fat, and 2/3 surveyed

would rather be mean or stupid."

"51% of 9 and 10 year-old girls feel better about themselves if they are

on a diet."

"42% of 1st-3rd grade girls want to be thinner."

weightism: "a form of prejudice that negatively affects both thin and fat

people, although in different ways.”

"The diet industry is one of the fastest growing markets, having jumped

from a 50 billion dollar industry to 130 billion dollars in a few short years."

“The magazines and the ads deliberately create and intensify anxiety

about weight because it is so profitable. “

"the mass delusion [of body image] sells a lot of products.”

"the media shows active boys and passive girls."

"There is a tremendous fear in our culture of any kind of feminine power.

No wonder there is such pressure on women today to be thin, to be like little

girls-not to take up too much space, literally or figuratively.”

“the fitness craze co-opts the whole idea of power for women, reducing it

to narcissism.”

“dieting leads to passivity, anxiety and low self-esteem”

“The spirituality of women is integrally related to the telling of women’s

stories, because if women’s stories are not told, the depth of women’s

souls will not be known”

"Christ…Emphasized the importance of forming support groups where

women can share their stories and perhaps, in the process, can create new

ways of living and an identity for women based on women’s visions rather

than men’s images and myths.”

“Although beauty increases women’s stauts it also maintains women’s subordination,

which is why beauty reform has always been important in the feminist agenda.”

Success

2010-04-05T10:03:00.010-06:00

This morning my orals committee chairperson informed me with a

hug and a smile that I had passed my oral examinations.

I will now be eligible for a Masters of Social Work (MSW).

I can't tell you how comforting it is to know that this part of

the process is finally behind me. Thank you to all of you who

have been such a support to me during this time. I couldn't

have done it without you!

Going to Hawaii and need advice

2010-03-02T21:49:00.005-07:00

Hey Hawaii experts, I need your help. I'm flying to Honolulu in June with three other friends.

For those of you who've been there:

Any advice about the best place for 4 people to stay on a studentish budget? Hotels? Hostels?

Is Oahu/Waikiki beach the place to be? Should we go see other islands?

What things to do are in your top five?

Olympic Ice Dancing: Fab and Fabber

2010-02-24T12:06:00.010-07:00

These ladies discuss the woes of figure skating fashion. Topics include:

The first tramp stamp to be showcased in skating costumes:

A program dedicated to Dumbledore's Phoenix Fawkes?:

Ice dancing

2010-02-20T14:54:00.018-07:00

So how cute are candian Ice dancing pair Tessa Virtue and Scott Moir?

Here they are skating to Pink Floyd last year:

Am stoked that their compulsory dance was recieved so well.

After last night they sit in second place behind the Russians.

Who, though not my favorite, really set the standard:

Can't seem to ever enjoy a Tanith Belbin and Ben Agosto performance.

Feel like under the sequins Tanith is a super uptight beyotch:

They're into fourth place just behind the other americans Charlie Davis

and Meryl White in third. Think Davis and White are more tolerable.

Or maybe I'm just biased because of the bollywood routine

they'll be performing in sunday night's original dance.

A note about tonight's free skate

2010-02-18T01:12:00.009-07:00

Down with Mullets.

Pairs short program recap

2010-02-15T14:10:00.010-07:00

So, anybody else think the Ukrainian's costumes were hilarious?

Skating to "Dreams Illusions" it would appear that they were asking, nay begging for a Blades of Glory sequel to be made about them.

Loved this:

And this:

Thought this was a little under appreciated. For a clean program and all. Perhaps I'm just a sucker for the Love Actually soundtrack:

On second look, I think not.

Hopefully here are your winners:

Felt a little confused about more than one score last night. Makes me want to blame this new scoring system. On the 6.0 scale it was very straight forward. But now it is so complex that even fans like myself have a hard time understanding the scores. The idea was to limit cheating but it seems like all it has done is disguise the judges' bias. Makes me kind of miss this:

Even if it is total cheese, I loved this program. At least we knew the judges had cheated.

Here is a link with the detailed score breakdowns.

James Cameron

2010-01-18T21:10:00.006-07:00

I'm not sure how I feel about James Cameron's new look:

I asked tash to help me describe this...atrocity. She sent me a couple hilarious texts, but my favorite by far was:

"The Founding Fathers meet Sarah Hughes"

What do you think? Write your own description in the comments!

Thank you very much, Jane Campion

2010-01-08T01:01:00.003-07:00

original screenplay or not, your version of John Keats and Fanny Brawne's relationship was breathtaking.

For tash

2009-10-01T13:19:00.007-06:00

Its been a little while since I've been on here. I'm sure all five or six of you who read this have missed my attempts at being clever and witty. I wish I could update you all with interesting tidbits about love and life but I've pretty much been studying, working and sleeping. Oh, I must mention I got to go to Dallas two weeks ago with Kimball to see President Uctdorff. He is surprisingly tall and surprisingly a fan of Harry Potter as he quoted Dumbledore in his talk. Joe and Katy were excellent hosts and have the very cutest kids. Lately I've been a bit busy trying to nurse my immune system back to health. I went to the doctor about a month ago after feeling like crap for a week (high fever, throat pain, exhaustion). As it turns out I didn't have mono, but a mono-like illness. What is that? I have no idea. I wonder if the doctor made up the term on the spot to make me feel better. But I haven't been feeling better; at that time or for almost a month since. I'm tired all the time (and I'm usually an energetic person), fever on and off, and throat pain. Cami, my big sister had mono in highschool. I remember her sleeping a lot. When I found out what I had I texted her to ask what she felt like. She said: "I felt like crap all the time!" This is what your tonsils look like with mono:

The good news is I'm feeling better.

Clever wedding processions?!

2009-07-24T23:11:00.007-06:00

Talk about making an entrance: Why do wedding things always make me emotional?

Where the Wild Things Are

2009-07-18T00:18:00.006-06:00

I went to see Harry Potter twice this week. As fun as that was, one of the best parts was getting to see this trailer both times on the big screen:

2009-06-30T14:58:00.002-06:00

Got a chuckle out of these t-shirts. (they relate to mormon culture if you are unfamiliar with it)

There are a couple more at www.primarytees.com

New Favorite Band

2009-06-25T15:44:00.005-06:00

Thanks to Hayley, I am really in love with Grizzly Bear. Particularly this song:

We also just found out that they were in Hollywood saturday night while Hayley and I were visiting Tash in Thousand Oaks. I tried to remember what we did that night and I recalled we watched "Twilight" with our old film friends from BYU. Pretty good trade if you ask me.

T2

2009-05-21T21:38:00.005-06:00

A couple of nights ago I went to see a showing of the new Terminator. I'm not anti-action movies-with-endless-sequels, but they typically aren't my favorite thing either.

However, when it comes to Terminator II, well that is just a different story. Seriously, how much more awesome can you get than a movie written/directed by James Cameron:

Starring Linda Hamilton's Biceps:

And the hot police officer (who's actually just a freaky robot):

Not to mention (and just as cool), Arnold S. "Hasta la vista", a ridiculously long motorcycle chase scene, and totally ahead of its time special effects.

The new Terminator Salvation also had many a neat effect (including a sweet cgi replica of the Arnold Terminator). Still I couldn't help but notice the difference between the two movies:

a. New Terminator submerged itself in the effects, relying on them as a sort of visual showcase to create fear, awe, excitement, humor etc. to inform, drive and create the story.

b. the original T2 used a well-developed story driven by well-rounded characters - filled in by some freaking cool effects that contributed to (note: not created) the story.

And therein lies my beef with the action genre. Sometimes I just want the writer/director/producer to get away from the computer and start investigating human interaction again. Look at J.J. Abrams (Star Trek, Lost, Fringe).

Ok so even though I put T4 down, I still would recommend seeing it. If only for the fact that the effects are sweet and Christian Bale has a voice like a rock-crusher.

Books, Books, Books

2009-05-18T21:14:00.011-06:00

Does anybody have any recommendations for reading material? I tend to like stuff that: -has a historical back-drop (not picky about where/when) -won't put you to sleep reading because it uses obscure words and difficult language (this is mostly older stuff which I try to be tolerant of, but you know). But I am open to pretty much anything. I'm going to have a lot of free time this summer at my job. I really don't want to end up watching youtube and gchatting the whole time (as fun as this is after about 2 hours, your head feels like the flux capacitor).

Any ideas about what to do to pass the time?

Allergies

2009-05-07T13:45:00.006-06:00

So I don't get how you can go your whole 24 years of life without allergies and then BAM! one day you wake up with itchy eyes and after a week of burning, congestion and fatigue your eye looks like this:

(This is not my eye, but my swelling was similar)

The doctor gave me some flonase, eyedrops and pills. I'm feeling much better except for the itching. Seriously kudos to all of you who've had to put up with allergies your whole life.

P.S. School's out for the SUMMER!!!!!!

Defense mechanisms

2009-04-24T15:01:00.011-06:00

Do you ever feel like you always mess up things you really want? I swear I am a master at self-sabotage. For instance, in junior high and high school every acting or singing part that I really wanted and tried for, I didn't get. Instead, I always was given the parts that I tried out for as a back-up, but didn't really want. Recently I found out I didn't get the internship that I wanted for next year. I would have been working with a private therapy practice, which is ultimately what I want to do with this costly advanced degree. Now I'm half-panicked/half-indifferently looking for other positions. The truth is with these second-choice jobs, the interviews are going GREAT because I'm not nervous and I ask questions. With the first internship I was seriously scared of asking anything in case I said the wrong thing. Holy defense mechanism! Defense mechanisms were a concept introduced by Freud. Basically, when you feel threatened, you will subcounsciously protect yourself using defense mechanisms. Some you may have heard of like denial, displacement, idealization and so on. I'm excellent at repression. For instance, I often numb my responses to things because I think that would be easier than having them actualized. The truth is, defense mechanisms are only helpful for a little while, eventually you have to learn healthier ways to cope with the crap in your life. Psychology says that we are all messed up in our minds. WE are the problem.

Social work says everything in our little eco system contributes to our problems:

(microsystem = YOU)

One downside to studying this stuff is you begin to think that you have every disorder you read about. For instance, I was pretty convinced I was suffering from PTSD (post traumatic stress disorder) after a lengthy class on this topic (hey you try being in a horrible car accident!). I had a friend say the other day that she thinks she has borderline personality disorder. I had to assure her that she does not because she is a functioning individual. The difference between the mentally ill and the not ? Functionalibility. You may have some crazy crap going on inside you, but if you are able to function in your daily life/relationships/profession you are probably ok (note, i said probably).

As one of my teachers would say, the key to mental health = Flexibility. I practice my splits everyday.

Happy Birthday Pookie!

2009-04-11T20:24:00.000-06:00

This post is dedicated to one of the best sisters in the whole wide world: Camille Marie Bluth. Cami is my big sis. She taught me how to tie my shoes, do backflips, listen to country music, pretty much you name it, I learned it from her.

I have many good memories of our childhood/teenagehood, including things like making a weekly workout plan (Monday-jog Tuesday-Bike ride Wed.-roller blade) and digging nickels and dimes out of the change jar for our almost-nightly May Fro Yo run (Mesa Frozen yogurt).

She's a pretty special person, so I thought I would share a few things that you might not know about her (20 to be exact):

1. In high school she did color guard, pole vaulting, diving, orchestra, got straight A's, and shared a wardrobe with me, and let me follow her around.

2. She has an AMAZING singing voice. Her specialties being Les Mis and Charlotte Church.

3. She is an even more amazing mom.

4. She is bar none the best person to have with you on a road trip. Specifically if that road trip is to Lake Powell and your car goes dead at the Pizza Hut in Page. Or, if you make the wrong turn in Flagstaff and see signs that say "Los Angeles 200 miles". Or, if you are driving through miles and miles of New Mexican wilderness and have only a two sided tape of Journey's Greatest Hits to keep you company.

5. She is hilarious. Carefree. Easy going. I think I saw her get mad only once in our teenage years. Pretty amazing if you ask me.

6. She used to write me letters written in the "creepy" font and sign it "the pookie".

7. She built the house she lives in now.

8. She and her family make Carlsbad a happening place.

9. She has rheumatoid arthritis but never complains.

10. She had mono her senior year of high school.

11. She went to 3 universities before marrying her cute hubby Marcus: ASU, NMSU, and BYU

12. She likes to be the first to the top of a mountain.

13. When she was younger, it was impossible to have a conversation with her that didn't include her plieing, tour jeteing etc while you were talking to her.

14. I felt like a big girl when she let me share a room with her. I think I was nine or ten.

15. We used to stay up late talking about anything and everything

16. She memorized the Newsies soundtrack. And the titanic song- You know the one they played on the radio with excerpts from the movie?

17. When I was at BYU she once sent me a pear for my birthday (a "Little Women" reference).

18. She spent the first few months of her marriage roughing it (and loving it) on a cattle ranch in NM.

19. She speaks French. Oui.

20. She is really adorable pregnant, and is currently expecting baby # 4.

Il y a longtemps que je t'aime

2009-03-09T14:21:00.000-06:00

Saw this last week with a few friends. I was worried it wouldn't go over well because I wasn't sure if they liked foreign film but the LOVED it. and so did I. Candice said, "I had to go to the bathroom the whole time but couldn't leave or I'd miss something."

It stars Kristin Scott Thomas (you know from the Horse Whisperer and Mission Impossible (she dies in the Prague alleyway at the beginning)).

Satire?

2009-03-09T14:03:00.000-06:00

I have fun working out to this song. But now that i've seen the video I feel simultaneously offended and...amused.

I run

2009-02-25T23:49:00.001-07:00

Its late and I'm about all ready for a long summer's sleep. Not to be confused with 'long winter's nap'. It's summer already here, or so it has felt like it the past few days.

I like rap. Well, there are only certain times that I listen to it. Like for instance today when I was reminded what it feels like to be the object of girlish gossip- and that is crappy. Which surprised me-haven't I grown out of caring what people think about me? I decided that I had not as I found myself rolling down University with a hot fudge sundae in hand, windows open, blasting this song and feeling vindicated:

hard times got the whole united states stressin im writin a book, how to survive n a recession mr oboma, we so tired of sellin crack if u lookin for me ask the streets where im at

I run the streets all nite n day (the hood love thug) cuz i still run the streets all nite n day yuhh i rep for my city, go hard for the hood still posted on the block, wats good? cuz i still run, the streets all nite n day, i cant stay away.

Lesson learned: life isn't that bad. At least I'm not running crack.

Cleaning up

2009-02-17T11:14:00.000-07:00

*warning, this post is not meant to be read while eating, in fact its not meant for the faint of stomach at all* Because I am an unemployed grad student and living with my parents and having recently coughed up dough for a labtop, ridiculously priced school books (seriously, how do they sleep at night?), and tuition, I've depleted my much needed cash flow. So I asked my lovely mom if there were any chores around the house I could do to earn some money. I know. Its like I'm twelve again and trying to earn money for the oceanography trip to San Diego. When you go to my mom with offers of help, you best be ready because she will hand you more than you ever wanted (she does pay well). I spent a whole summer of my youth painting baseboards. I've seen my brothers climb down into the basement window well dressed in snowbibs, gloves and hats to 'de-spider'. So I had to hold my breath. She gave me two words; "fridge" and "pantry". Now, that probably doesn't sound that bad, but it might as well have been the opening chords for a bad American idol audition. I cringed visibly. And I'm pretty sure the words, "anything but that" came out, or atlease I was thinking them. Seriously, you haven't seen our fridge. We could donate some things in there to science. And as I spent a couple of hours on all fours scrubbing, here is what I found: A can of peas, conglomerated into what looked like a honeycomb A jar of pepporoni's that had turned brown A wedge of fuzzy blue cheese Salsa with exp. date 2005 (remember when we cleaned out gramma's pantry and found that syrup from 1999?!) And to my torment: some red 'mystery' sauce dripped all over back wall The pantry wasn't as bad. The only find being a bag of old potatoes that looked like they had sprouts growing out of them. Usually my dad cleans out the fridge. I dunno why but he likes it. He'll find all sorts of crazy stuff and come show us when he finds it. This always grossed me out. But I found myself doing the same thing, even running down the hallway to show meesa the peas.

Old teenage hopes

2009-02-10T15:43:00.000-07:00

These never get old:

ps. did you know feist performed in the calgary olympics opening ceremonies?

Firsts

2009-02-02T14:02:00.000-07:00

I had a couple of firsts last week.

Number one- I saw my first patient. For those of you who are unaware I've been an intern for student counseling at NMSU since august, which meant for the first semester I manned phones at the crisis hotline and bothered local agencies by sending them information about our services. But now that I am bona-fide second semester student, I get to see clients! Friday was my first get go, just a student looking for healthcare options, and yes my supervisor was there with me which was a big help because I kept getting nervous and shooting her looks that said "HELP!" and "Whatwasthathealthcareprogramyoutoldmeabout?" Well, we got through it in one piece, and I have a follow up appointment and I've filled out all the paperwork.

The second first was that we had the first speed-dating activity for our ward ever. Mark and I are activities chairs and so we got every one there under the pretense that it was a 'Get-to-Know-you' night. I know...mean right? Well, the thing is a lot of people in our ward are spread out and when they move in they don't get to know each other. So at least people will know each other better now. And total surprise, the ratio was almost perfect the whole night. We had a few too many boys at the beginning but some girls showed up.

My final first was seeing four movies in the theater in one weekend. I saw: Last Chance Harvey, Taken, Revolutionary Road, and New in Town. I only paid for two, and definitely would recommend them all except Revolutionary Road because of content (but come on its Kate and LEO!).

Across the Universe

2009-01-29T10:45:00.000-07:00

I listened to this again today and now these lovely verses are stuck in my head:

Thoughts meander like

a restless wind inside a letter box

they tumble blindly as they

make their way across the universe

Limitless Undying love which

shines around me like a million suns

it calls me on and on across the universe

Resolutions

2009-01-19T21:14:00.000-07:00

Its been a little while since I've written. I can blame that mostly on christmas, family, friends, the second season of 30 Rock, and this new addition to my school supplies:

Granted, you might say that this would give me more opportunities for blogging, but in reality it hasn't. Instead I've had my fill of old gymnastics meets on youtube, updates from this year's Sundance, facebook and gmail chatting, and frequent visits to imdb, wikipedia and hulu.

What have I learned? Technology isn't bad, but it definitely allows one to vegetate for several hours at a time. Also (gathered from frequent visits to these sites), I've realized that most people have accomplishments. And I started to worry a little bit whether or not I have many, or whether I've nurtured the ones that I do have enough. So, inevitably I started thinking and this thinking led to thoughts like "be a doer, not a watcher, Carrie." So consequently I started making a list in my head of all the things I would like to try doing with my spare time from now on. I guess we could call these things 'resolutions' although I think new years resolutions are finicky (I have about six journals with previous lists that were never got to or were never again thought of). But this time I'm trying to make realistic goals for myself that I really want to try. So here is what i came up with:

1. Start playing the piano and singing again

2. Make an effort to have more quality time with friends/family members

3. Write more. Ideas and thoughts for characters and stories go through my head a lot, but getting them down has been a challenge. Ironically I write best during class when I get tired of listening to lectures.

4. Watch more quality TV and films (not just re-renting Hairspray, Curly Sue, etc.)

5. Read more frequently. I just finished "A Tree Grows in Brooklyn" and I highly recommend it!

6. Make a movie for our film festival coming up.

7. Start taking pictures again.

What are your New Years resolutions?

I'll have a butterscotch sundae I guess

2008-12-18T23:22:00.000-07:00

I recently watched this again:

"You don't even know my middle name." "That's a trick question. You don't have a middle name." "It's Helen." "My mother's name was Helen." "I know."

"What should we do?" "Lie down for a minute?"

"Oh that...that's dog's blood."

"This is my sponsor, Runs With Two Horses. Winds blowin up a gale today!"

"I always wanted to be a Tenenbaum."

I've only seen it zillion times, but it never looses its charm. It's my favorite Christmas movie. Tasha gave it to me for our roommate secret Santa exchange three or four years ago, and it has been a staple must-see every December. Some people have trouble with it because the family is so dysfunctional, and because the pacing is slow. But it is really one of the sweetest stories (and I mean sweet like good and sincere).

Edited to add: If you feel like sharing, what is your favorite Christmas movie?

Irony

2008-12-14T00:31:00.000-07:00

The problem with losing your glasses is that you don't realize you've lost them until you've taken your contacts out (at least for those of us contacts during the day/glasses at night wearers). And when that happens, because you are so blind, you end up having to crawl on the floor with your nose two inches from the ground, praying for some light reflection on the lenses to give them away. Hypothetically you could just put your contacts back in and begin to search, right?... But, you think, it shouldn't be that hard. The glasses were just there on your nightstand last night, right on top of your copy of "Eclipse" and next to your phone and three half-empty water bottles! They couldn't be anywhere but the night stand, or - at the very least anywhere on the floor within a three feet diameter of the nightstand. Glasses don't have legs. I'm pretty sure I don't have night terrors or sleep walking episodes that involve putting on glasses and then taking them off elsewhere (I have however slept walked in a London flat and scared my roommate half to death). Back to the army crawl on the ground - it would probably be smarter, healthier (ew, think of all the germs), and faster to just run and put your contacts back in, but there are other issues that get in the way. Issues of dignity for instance. As it happens, and I don't know why, somehow practically sniffing the floor with your eyes all squinted up involves more dignity than putting those two tiny silicon-whatever-contacts-are-made-of pieces in. So, you know where to find me three-four nights a week.

A story

2008-12-12T00:57:00.000-07:00

The scene of a few nights ago: INT EVENING I walk into the kitchen for assistance in putting on a necklace, the assister, no doubt surprised by my use of jewelry, comments suspiciously: Assister: Where are you going? Me: Out. Assister: With who? Darnit, I think, she's going to make me say it. Me: With such and such person to such and such place The Assister beams. Assister: really? Me: yes. Said assiter is staring at me. No, not at me anymore, now she is staring at my attire. I tense, ready to spring. Me: What? Assister: Well, you aren't going to wear that? Me: Why not? I begin to hedge away slowly. Assister: Atleast, not that shirt. Do you have something less wrinkled? Me: I like this shirt With a start, I turn and sprint down the hallway, towards my bedroom. but she is quick. Her yelling comes from just behind me in the hall. Assister: It doesn't do anything for you! I silence her with a glance. Assister: Well atleast take your hair down. Assister is now sweeping through my closest, muttering "no" "maybe" "too old" as I grab my coat to go. Her voice carries after me as I leave the room. Assister: You'll need perfume! I pause in the kitchen to arrange my purse. I am already pulling my lip gloss out of my purse when she says, Assister: Do you have lipstick? I hold up the gloss to show her. Assister: I have lipstick with color in it... She trails off at my glare. I pause to apply the fruity concotion. When I look up I notice the Assiter is now observing my collar bones. I beeline it for the door. Assister: Honey I think we need to take you in...get those moles removed. Me: Bye Mom! I shut the door. Seconds later, the door opens after me. Mom: Bye honey, remember you have everything he wants!

A Lament

2008-12-08T23:28:00.000-07:00

I'm tired of writing papers that I have to cite endlessly in a structured format. I miss film school and pulling papers out of my bum the night before they are due.

Baby its cold outside

2008-12-02T21:13:00.001-07:00

So, I've decided to start blogging on my own -- outside of the family blog. There is something about the holiday season that makes me really love being a consumer. Or at least it makes me love holiday shopping commercials with bright colors and jazzy numbers and bundled up shoppers at the mall and presents with scrunchy wrapping paper. Of course when a crowd of people trample on somebody on their way to Walmart or whatever I get pissed and think old people things like "what is the world coming to." And yeah come two days after Christmas I would rather set fire to my nose hairs and gouge out my eyeballs then ever set foot in a store again. But, before all that happens I always rejoice in the Christmas-buying season. So what I'm trying to say is I love GAP commercials, and especially this new Christmas one: Who knew Selma Blair had such a sassy voice? And ok, so I had to share this one too: What's eating Gilbert Gap? And this is a 90s classic: And this is too adorable. Claire Danes where have you been? There's no way I was gonna include Sarah Jessica Parker's ad. Sorry, I don't care how much I hate to admit that I love that Lenny Kravitz song, she just irritates me too much. Finally, no gap ad post would be complete without the best gap ad they've ever done: